Deeper Understanding
by Symphony In Blue
Summary: Ruth has turned down Harry's offer of a second date, and both feel miserable as a result of it. Will they find their way back to each other, or is this the end of the line? Becomes AU during the events of 5.4
1. Chapter 1

**I must be mad to start another multi-chapter fic while I've got so much course work to be getting on with, but there you go. I got the idea for this story more than a year ago, but I only just managed to start writing it down.**

**As far as the timeline is concerned, it starts at the end of 5.3 (first passage of this chapter blatantly copied from the episode) and it starts becoming AU sometime during Havensworth. Hope you'll enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own anything, apart from a couple of boxsets. If I did, Harry and Ruth wouldn't still be dancing around each other.  
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><p>Ruth entered Harry's office just as Ros and Adam were leaving.<p>

"The Americans want to talk to you about the bomb" she said.

"They're not getting it back."

"Grosvernor Square is on a secure line." She turned to walk away but stopped when Harry said her name.

"Ruth. Have you thought anymore about..?"

"I can't" she immediately said.

"Can't what?" Harry asked.

"Have dinner again. People know, they're laughing about it."

Harry looked confused. "Laughing? Why would they laugh?"

"I don't know. But it undermines you and that's not acceptable."

"I sit in meetings, listening to briefings that would chill the blood of any ordinary citizen. So whilst of course deeply hurtful, somebody laughing at me is not going to give me sleepless nights."

"We can't, Harry. I can't be talked about like that. I just...I can't stand it. Sorry."

Ruth hurried away so he wouldn't see the sad look in her eyes. In the meantime a gobsmacked Harry was left behind in his office, his eyes mirroring Ruth's emotions.

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><p>Ruth hid herself away in the ladies' after leaving Harry's office. The tears that had threatened to fall as she spoke to Harry were now flowing freely, and her tiny frame shook with the sobs she unsuccessfully tried to suppress.<p>

She could scarcely believe what she'd just done. She'd had feelings for Harry for as long as she could remember, and for a long time she could have only dreamed of those feelings ever being reciprocated. She had been over the moon when Harry asked her to have dinner with him. And, despite her nerves, she had thoroughly enjoyed their dinner. It had outlived her expectations, and she definitely wanted to have many more of them. At the time she really thought it could be the start of something wonderful.

But when Malcolm had told her that everyone knew about her and Harry, she had panicked. A shy person by nature, the last thing she wanted was people talking about her. She had no desire to be the centre of attention whatsoever. What she had said to Harry about the gossip undermining his authority was true, but it was only a part of the truth. She really couldn't stand to be talked about. She had always been very nervous and apprehensive about changes in her life, and she was sure that if she continued seeing Harry not only her personal life, but her professional life, too, would change beyond recognition. It was more than she could take all at once.

It had pained her beyond belief to have to turn Harry down. She so wanted to say yes to another date, but she just couldn't. In her view, the only possible solution was to end it before it had even begun.

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><p>It had been a good ten minutes since Ruth turned him down, but Harry was still leaning against his desk in the same manner as when she had left. He couldn't move, couldn't seem to do anything. He tried to make sense of what had happened, but he just couldn't.<p>

It had taken him a lot of courage, enhanced somewhat by a good single malt, to take that giant leap and ask her to have dinner with him. He had pondered the possibility many times, but never dared to contemplate it seriously until Juliet had asked him if he was in love with Ruth. Juliet really knew him too well.

Yes he was in love with Ruth, of that he was sure. He just didn't think she could possibly feel the same way. She was beautiful, talented, incredibly intelligent, and much younger than he was. So what she could possibly see in someone like him was something he had wondered many a time. But when Juliet had said that Ruth felt the same way it had given him hope.

When he had finally mustered up the courage to ask her to have dinner with him he was still terribly nervous she'd say no. But she hadn't. She had said yes. This could only mean that she was in fact interested in him, which was more than he had bargained for. He couldn't be more excited.

He had enjoyed their dinner immensely, and wanted nothing more than to take her out on a date again. The food, wine and conversation had been good, and despite the initial tension they had soon been very much at ease in each other's company.

Which is why he didn't understand why Ruth had just turned him down. Surely a bit of idle office gossip and the fact that it could possibly undermine his authority, something which didn't concern him one bit, couldn't be the reason. At least in his view it didn't seem enough reason to turn one's back on something wonderful.

He decided he would leave Ruth be for now. He knew better than to push her when she was feeling nervous or emotional. At this stage his persistence would only be counterproductive. But he knew he wouldn't, couldn't just leave it at this. He had never felt this strongly about anyone before, and he was pretty sure that she hadn't either. So he was determined to make sure not to let this opportunity pass him by.

Harry moved over to his drinks cabinet and poured himself a generous measure of single malt. After all he'd been through today, both work wise and with Ruth, he felt he deserved it.

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><p><strong>What do you think, is it worth continuing with? Please review if you'd like to read more xx<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Because you're all such lovely people I've decided to post the 2nd chapter earlier than I'd originally intended. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews!**

**And as for the timeline of this story: Ruth and Harry's date was in early December, Havensworth in March, and Cotterdam in early May. I know this might be different from the actual timeline in series 5 but hey, it's AU so anything can happen right?  
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><p>Weeks went by where nothing major happened. It seemed that the months of January and February were fairly quiet times where terrorists were concerned, which allowed the team some much needed time to catch up on paperwork and routine surveillance. Also it generally gave them a bit of a breather after all they had been through in the previous couple of months. During that time Harry and Ruth did their best to pretend that nothing had ever happened, and especially Ruth did her best to avoid Harry at all costs without making it seem too obvious. However, there were still the occasional glances from across the Grid when one thought the other wasn't looking.<p>

This distance between them was frustrating Harry more with every day that went by, but no matter how difficult it was, he had decided to give Ruth some space and he would stick to it. The last thing he wanted was to push her away even further. Because if he did that, he was sure the damage would be irreparable.

At the same time Ruth was trying her very best to keep her head down, focus on work and nothing else. And she found it extremely hard to do so, even though she was the one who had put a stop to it in the first place. She couldn't help but watch Harry through his office windows when she was sure he wasn't looking. Avoiding Harry hadn't been all that hard, but to stop observing him from a distance had proven a lot more difficult. Old habits die hard, especially enjoyable ones.

At times she felt like kicking herself for putting both herself, and Harry through all of this. It wasn't the first time she had managed to let fear and panic ruin a perfectly good chance at happiness, and she was sure it wouldn't be the last time either. But somehow she couldn't help it. Whenever she had found herself in an uncomfortable or embarrassing situation she had followed her gut instinct and ran, in spite of the rational part of her brain telling her she shouldn't. This time she really wished she hadn't run, but old habits die hard, and now it was too late to do anything about it.

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><p>Soon though they no longer had much time to reflect on what could have been and what would never be. The team were assigned to oversee the "Addressing Africa" summit at the Havensworth Hotel and ensure that it would be successful. Harry, Adam, Ros, and Zaf were present at the hotel, while Ruth, Malcolm, and Jo stayed behind and monitored the event from the Grid. Ruth was glad she didn't have to go to the actual summit. The thought of being at work for a few days without Harry being there was something she was, surprisingly so, looking forward to. For once she would be able to relax, for once she wouldn't be nervous all day long, knowing full well that Harry's eyes were boring into her from the confines of his office when he thought she wasn't looking.<p>

But still there was a part of her that felt disappointed at the thought of not seeing Harry. Even though things had been less than ideal between them lately, she still found his presence at work reassuring. It was a very comforting thought to know that, no matter what happened, he would still be there, sitting in his office until the small hours, drinking whisky and contemplating the utter chaos of today's world.

She was snapped out of her daydream when Malcolm, who had just got off the phone, called out to her. "Ruth, you are needed at the hotel."

Her head snapped up. She had not been expecting anything like this to happen. "Why? I thought I was supposed to stay here."

Malcolm shrugged his shoulders. "Harry requested it. Says he needs someone there to monitor the proceedings and to analyse incoming Intel at a moment's notice. He thinks it'll be easier and more efficient if you're there instead of on the Grid."

Ruth sighed as she got up and started gathering her things. "I guess that leaves me no choice then." She said.

Malcolm watched her go as she stepped through the pods and soon disappeared from view. _Perhaps,_ he thought, _this will be the push in the right direction that they so desperately need._

Ruth sat down heavily on the top deck of the bus, watching the streets of London flashing by. She really didn't feel like going to the summit. She knew she'd be forced to work closely with Harry, as well as the rest of the team of course, but still. On the Grid she could easily avoid Harry for hours at a time. She could hide herself away in the Registry, or pretend to be fully emerged in some surveillance on her computer. But there, at the hotel, she wouldn't be able to do any of that. All she could hope for was that Harry would be too busy dealing with the multitude of politicians attending the summit to even give her presence there so much as a second thought.

She rummaged through her bag for a moment and took out a book, hoping that a bit of light reading would make the bus ride pass quicker, and stop her from mulling over the same problems over and over again in her head. She opened the book and quickly skimmed through a couple of pages, trying to retrieve the passage she had last read. Finally she had found it and started reading. Though a certain day, another bus ride and another book were never far from her thoughts.

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><p><strong>Please review :) xx<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**So it's only taken me a year to update this story. So sorry about that, but I have every intention to actually finish this. That is, once I've finished my BA thesis, so bear with me. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter**

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><p>At 7 the next morning a car was waiting outside Ruth's house to take her to the Havensworth hotel. It wasn't a long drive, but she couldn't seem to sit still for more than two seconds. She chastised herself for being so nervous about seeing Harry. She saw him at work every day, and the fact that they were working away from the Grid for a couple of days shouldn't be any different. He'd probably be too busy to notice her anyway, but still she couldn't help feeling anxious.<p>

After half an hour the car pulled up into the long driveway of the impressive Havensworth hotel. Ruth quickly grabbed her overnight bag, thanked the driver, and made her way to the front entrance. She had barely come through the front door and up the stairs when she collided with the person she wanted to see least of all: Harry.

"I'm glad you're here," he said as he walked towards her. "We'll need your organisational skills on this operation. I got you a pass."

"Uh, do I need to organise a room?" Ruth asked.

"No, it's all arranged. Your room. It's your own room."

"O-of course," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "Right."

At that precise moment Harry's phone started to ring. "I have to take this. Do you want to..?"

Ruth nodded. "Yeah, sure."

She walked off quickly, glad that their awkward conversation had been interrupted by a phone call. It bothered her that she could no longer behave normally around Harry. She couldn't stop stammering, and found it very difficult to look him in the eye. Ruth hated feeling like this, and had begun to wish she had never said yes to that dinner in the first place. It would've saved her a lot of awkwardness and confusion.

She took the lift up to her room to drop off her stuff, and used the opportunity of being alone for a while to pull herself together again. She hadn't realised how much seeing Harry had affected her until she got to her room, and found that she couldn't stop shaking.

Ruth sat down on the very comfortable bed and took a couple of deep breaths, hoping that it would help her to calm down. _Just get over yourself already_, she thought to herself. Now was not the time to start panicking and mulling over what could have been. They were working on a big operation, and the team were counting on her. She needed to focus.

After about 15 minutes Ruth felt a lot calmer again, and she decided to find the rest of the team and start doing some actual work. It didn't take long before she was fully emerged in her job, which didn't leave her enough time to even think about Harry and her personal problems.

She assembled all the information she could find about the Kansas City Flamers, as part of Ros' legend to trick the American Secretary of State. Later on she discussed more strategies with Ros, Adam, and even Harry, which kept her busy until late that night.

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><p>When she finally got to her room that night, it was impossible for her to even contemplate going to sleep. Loud music was blasting from a room nearby, and Ruth could barely hear herself think.<p>

She walked out of her room into the hallway to check where the music was coming from, and again was confronted with the person she wanted to see least of all: Harry.

"The, uh, music woke me," she said, mentally kicking herself the moment the words left her mouth. She was still fully dressed, and it was obvious that she hadn't even been to bed yet. "Never really gone in for Euro-pop," she added, to draw the attention away from what she said before.

But of course, Harry being Harry, he noticed anyway. "Looks like you weren't sleeping at all. Nor was I."

"It's the Italian trade minister," Ruth said, ignoring his comment. "He's apparently a bit of a party animal. Of course he caused a scandal at an EU conference last year by insisting on dancing to the Macarena at the last night's banquet."

All the time she was talking Harry had been walking towards her. As he came closer she could clearly see the way he looked at her. There was a longing in his gaze, but he looked mainly hurt.

"I'll get the management to ask him to turn it down," she said, and turned around to go back to her room.

"Ruth," Harry began, pleading her not to walk away.

"Goodnight Harry," she said as she turned her back on him, unable to look him in the eye any longer. She couldn't bear seeing her own pain and frustration so clearly reflected in his eyes.

Harry sighed. Ruth's behaviour towards him frustrated him beyond belief. He had left her alone for weeks now. He hadn't dared bringing up anything personal again, and had limited communication with Ruth to a bare minimum, and only about work-related topics. Yet things between them were still awkward, and he wished he could figure out a way to change that.

He turned around and started walking back in the direction of his own room.

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><p>Back on the Grid Malcolm was staring at his screen, and let out a disappointed sigh as he saw Ruth and Harry's icons come close together briefly, before going back in opposite directions again.<p>

"Oh Ruth, our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt," he said.

He still felt guilty for talking to Ruth about her and Harry's date. At the time he hadn't realised what a profound effect it would have on Ruth's confidence (or lack thereof). He had always noticed something between his boss and fellow colleague, and he kept hoping that someday they would find their way back to each other.

"Wait a minute," he suddenly said. Harry's icon was moving back in the direction of Ruth's hotel room, something which he hadn't expected to happen. "Good for you Harry," he said as he switched off the monitor. Even though he couldn't actually see anything, he still felt that they deserved some privacy.

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><p>Halfway back towards his own room Harry came to a halt. He suddenly realised how ridiculous it was that he let someone like Ruth slip away that easily, and all because of some idle office gossip.<p>

He turned around and walked back towards her room, deciding to get things out into the open once and for all.

Taking a deep breath he knocked on her door loudly, to make sure she would hear it over the sound of the music that was still blasting all through the hotel.

"Just a second," he heard her calling from within.

It didn't take long before the door opened, and he was met with the face of a very confused looking Ruth. "Oh, Harry I..I er wasn't expecting you. I thought it would be someone from management, coming to apologise or something for the noise," she rambled nervously.

"We really need to talk, Ruth," he said. "I know it's late, but with this noise we're not going to get any sleep anyway. So, can I come in?"

"Sure," Ruth nodded and stepped aside to let him into her room.

She closed the door behind him, but didn't move. "So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked, feigning ignorance.

"I think you know what I want to talk about Ruth. Us. We can't continue like this. Work is suffering, and I'm sure that personally we're both suffering as well. At least I am."

"I can't be talked about at work Harry, I've told you that before. I just can't bear it."

"So let them talk. What do you care about what others think of you? And besides, if anything, I think they'd be happy for us if they knew we were together. These aren't just ordinary colleagues, these are people that we consider to be our friends."

Ruth shook her head. "Rationally I know that, but I just can't shake the feeling that it will turn against us at some point. It happened to me at GCHQ, and I can't let that happen a second time. Can't you understand that?"

He walked over to her and, as she was standing near the door, she couldn't get away from him. "I'm sorry if you have been hurt in the past, but I promise I would never let that happen. Anyone who speaks badly of you I'll have deported to Siberia or Afghanistan or something. Please Ruth," he pleaded with her.

She didn't know what to say. He was standing so close to her, and his proximity combined with the scent of his cologne made her head spin. "Harry, I.." she started, but was silenced as his lips met hers.

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><p><strong>I'd love a review :) xx<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**So it's only taken me another month to update, sorry about that. But my BA degree is nearly finished now, and once the summer kicks off I'll have time for more regular updates, promise! In the meantime I hope this chapter will make up for the long wait.**

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><p>Ruth woke up the next morning with her head resting comfortably on Harry's bare chest. She looked up and saw that he was already awake, looking at her contentedly and gently playing with her hair.<p>

"Hey," she said softly, as she felt a blush beginning to creep up on her.

"Good morning," he said, smiling. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," she nodded. "And you?"

"It was quite possibly the best sleep I've had in years," Harry answered, "even when there was loud music playing until the small hours".

"That's uh..that's good," was all Ruth managed to reply. "It began to dawn on her what they'd done and where they were, and suddenly she no longer felt as comfortable as she did when she'd first woken up.

Harry noticed the subtle change in her and quickly wrapped his arm around her to make sure she couldn't get away from him.

"Ruth, you don't regret this do you? Us I mean, this."

She shook her head. "N-no, of course not Harry. Why? Do you?"

"Don't be silly Ruth, I'd be mad if I regretted making love to you" he said.

His gaze was so intense that she just had to look away. Instead she fixed her eyes on his chest, where she had begun to draw lazy patterns with her index finger.

He reached out and cupped her face with one of his hands, drawing her gaze back to meet his. "Look at me Ruth," he said. "This isn't some casual one-off thing. I'm serious about us, always have been, and I really want this to become something permanent. That is, if you feel the same way of course."

"I want that too Harry," she replied. "It's just that up until now I've been afraid. I mean, I've never been very good at relationships, especially in the workplace, and I just don't want people talking about me. I get nervous very easily when I know I'm being talked about. I hate it."

"But we don't have to tell anybody, not if you're not comfortable with that. Besides, they all think that there's nothing going on between us now, so it'll be a lot easier to keep quiet. And even if they did find out, would that be so bad? These people aren't just our colleagues, they're our friends, and they care too much to ridicule us, especially you."

Ruth shifted a bit closer so she could lay down on his chest again, placing her right ear over his heart so she could hear the gentle thud of his heartbeat. "Consciously I know all of this, of course. But I keep being reminded of what happened in the past, and I can't just make those memories and those feelings go away," she said.

"What happened to you in the past? Was it something at GCHQ?" He asked.

"It's a long story, and I really don't want to talk about it now," she said. "Let's just say that I got involved with someone at work, and it didn't end very well. It's part of the reason why I decided to actively try and get seconded to MI5".

"Well, in that case I have to admit I don't mind this at all," he said, and he drew her in for a kiss. "Leave it for another time, but someday I would like to hear about what happened," he continued, now on a more serious note.

"Someday I'll tell you, I promise".

They remained lying in bed completely entwined for a while longer, but in the end Harry reluctantly started to get up. "As much as I would like to spend the rest of the day here with you, I'm afraid there's work to be done," he said.

Ruth sighed as she watched him get out of bed, and start gathering his clothes which were strewn across the hotel room. Suddenly she gasped. "Our phones, they're being used to track our whereabouts at all times. Everyone will know that you've been here all night".

In the heat of the moment they had both forgotten about this small but important technicality.

Harry didn't seem half as worried as Ruth though. He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I'll just ask Malcolm to delete our history for this night, don't worry about it."

"But then he'll know," Ruth protested.

"Don't worry Ruth, it's only Malcolm. And besides, I think he's still so shocked from when he confronted you about our dinner that he won't tell a living soul. He's our friend, and he knows how to keep a secret".

"I suppose you're right," Ruth agreed. "It beats Jo or Zaf knowing about it in any case. Last thing I heard is that Zaf is still running a book on practically all potential couples within the security services, and I bet we're very high on his list."

This made Harry chuckle. "You're right, we'd best keep it from them for a while. After all, we wouldn't want young Mr. Younis making too much of a profit, now would we?"

"No, I suppose not," Ruth replied as she shook her head, and unsuccessfully tried to suppress a smile.

Harry was relieved that he had managed to lighten the mood a bit, because he was still afraid that Ruth would make a run for it at any moment. At least they weren't as awkward around each other anymore. Ever since she had turned down his offer of a second dinner, things had been almost unbearably tense between them. And now, for the first time in many weeks it felt as though their 'old' behaviour, they way they had acted before the dinner date, had returned. In fact, their interaction appeared to be better than ever.

This new dynamic of them as lovers still felt a bit strange, but Harry was convinced that this would soon change.

He had finally managed to retrieve all of his clothes, including his shoes, and had haphazardly put them on. He only needed to look decent enough to make it from her room to his own.

"I'd better go back to my room to get changed. I'm sure we'll be needed downstairs soon enough".

He walked back over to the bed, and leaned over to kiss her one more time. "Will I see you at breakfast?" he asked.

Ruth nodded. "I'll be there in 20 minutes."

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><p>The entire day was spent in a frenzy, and both were so busy that they barely had time to think about what had happened the night before. They didn't even manage to have breakfast together, as Harry was called away for a meeting before he'd even had a chance to make his way to the breakfast parlour at all.<p>

All day long they kept missing each other just by mere seconds, and the few times they did manage to run into each other, they didn't have time for more than a few stolen glances across the room.

But for some reason it didn't matter. They both knew that they had finally made that crucial next step in their relationship, and that after the whole Havensworth ordeal was over, and business as usual had resumed, they would have the chance to be together properly and start building a personal relationship. They could hardly wait, but for the moment they simply had to. They'd had to wait for so long, so a few extra days wouldn't matter. They both knew it would be worth it in the end.

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><p><strong>I'd love a review :)<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**I think I can just stop apologising for the lack of regular updates, because by now it's probably expected of me (but I am very very sorry). I hope this chapter was worth the wait though! x**

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><p>The Havensworth summit didn't go exactly as planned, but in the end the team did manage to prevent a major disaster from happening. All in a day's work for the officers of Section D. Harry and Ruth saw very little of each other during the remainder of the summit, save the occasional stolen glances across the room, and once even a few stolen kisses in a hidden corner that wasn't covered by the CCTV cameras.<p>

Slowly Ruth started to get used to the idea of her and Harry being together, and with every moment that passed she became more convinced of the fact that if nobody noticed a change in their behaviour here, then maybe it wouldn't be so difficult to keep their relationship under wraps on the Grid as well. She knew that Malcolm was now in on the secret, as Harry had indeed asked him to wipe the records of their mobile phone trackers for that one night. She thought it would bother her, but surprisingly enough it didn't. She had known Malcolm for years now, and knew that she could trust him unconditionally.

Even though they had had an exhausting few days at Havensworth, everyone came into work bright and early the next morning, and everything was again business as usual. Both Harry and Ruth had feared that work might be awkward from now on, but on that first day back they barely even had the chance to look at each other, let alone have anything resembling a conversation. In their absence the routine work had piled up, and all of Section D had a lot of catching up to do.

That first night after work Ruth went home exhausted and in need of a good night's sleep, whereas poor Harry hadn't even finished his duties for the day yet. He had a late night meeting with the Home Secretary where he was sure to receive a bollocking for everything that had gone wrong at Havensworth, something which he obviously wasn't looking forward to. Unfortunately he hadn't be able to reschedule the meeting for another time, something he had tried very hard to get done, but the Home Secretary was very persistent. The meeting was going to be tonight, no excuses.

Before he went off to Whitehall he only managed to send Ruth a quick text telling her that he would see her tomorrow. She had replied that she was looking forward to seeing him, and had even - very boldly by her standards - asked if they could try and have lunch together. Harry had texted back immediately, saying that he would love to have lunch with her, if their hectic schedule allowed it of course.

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><p>Early the next morning Ruth found herself having a small clothing crisis. She even managed to surprise herself, because this wasn't something that normally happened to her. She didn't dress too fashionably by most people's standards, nor did she really care about what she looked like unless it was decent and reasonably comfortable. But today was different. She suddenly started thinking what Harry might think of her. He always dressed well, and perhaps now that they were together, she should pay more attention to what she was wearing.<p>

Though she soon shook it off as just a ridiculous thought. Harry had fallen for her just the way she was, so there shouldn't be any need to start changing her style now, unless it was something she wanted to do for herself. She eventually opted for a black skirt, one of her favourites, and a red blouse she hadn't worn in quite a while. Spring was still a long way away, but adding a little colour to everyday life never hurt anyone, she reasoned.

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><p>Nobody managed to get a proper lunch break that day again, as expected. At 3 o'clock Ruth went up to the roof to get some fresh air. She figured she deserved a break, having worked non-stop from 8 in the morning onwards. She casually leaned against the railing and looked out across the London skyline. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't notice the door to the rooftop open and close once more.<p>

She startled and turned around as she heard somebody say: "chicken or tuna?"

As she looked up she saw Harry walking towards her, holding up two pre-packed sandwiches from the cafeteria.

"Chicken," she said as she extended her arm to take one of the sandwiches from him. Again Harry managed to catch her off-guard, because as she moved to take the sandwich, he leaned forward and quickly kissed her.

"I know it's not much of a lunch, but I'm afraid it's all we can manage today," Harry said after he had finished kissing her.

Ruth shrugged her shoulders. "It's alright. Thanks for the sandwich though, I'm absolutely famished." She hadn't realised how hungry she actually was, and it didn't take her long to devour her 'lunch'.

They ate in silence while they admired the cold, but relatively beautiful March afternoon, while stealing occasional glances at each other when they thought the other person wasn't looking.

"We should probably head back soon", Ruth said once they had both finished eating. "I'm sure there's still lots of work to do, plus I am starting to get cold."

"Yes, we probably should," Harry agreed reluctantly. He was enjoying the calm and being in Ruth's company so much that he hadn't even realised how cold it actually was. If it were up to him he'd stay there with her for the remainder of the day.

"Are you free on Saturday?" he asked her. "I was just thinking that if you are, you could come over to my place and I could make dinner. That is, if you want to of course," he added, suddenly feeling unsure of himself.

"I'm free this Saturday, and I'd love to come over, Harry," Ruth said.

He smiled, obviously relieved that she'd said yes. "Good, that's great. Mind you, I'm not the world's greatest cook, but I do make a pretty decent lasagna."

"Well fortunately I happen to love lasagna, so you needn't worry" she replied.

Harry opened his mouth to say something else, but at that moment the entrance to the rooftop opened once more. "Oh good, you're both here", Malcolm said as he peered out. "You're needed back on the Grid asap, we've got an urgent problem."

"We'll come with you straight away," Ruth said before Harry had even had a chance to reply. She hurried through the door after Malcolm, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts for a moment.

He began to smile as he watched the person he cared about most in the entire world hurry away as fast as her legs could carry her, always eager and excited to do her job properly. That's one of the many things he loved about her. The fact that she was always so passionate and enthusiastic about her career. To him work had always been something he could easily lose himself in, something that had helped him get through the darker moments of his personal life. And even though he enjoyed his job most of the time, he didn't have the same passion for it as Ruth had. He often envied her for that.

At least now his personal life had taken a more positive turn, and he was hoping that perhaps he would start enjoying his work more, too, now. Things definitely seemed to be heading in the right direction all of a sudden. Saturday, the weekend, something which he used to dread, suddenly couldn't come soon enough.

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><p><strong>Please review if you have a moment to spare :)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**It seems like my plotbunny and my muse have become friends again. I am going to try and keep this up, but of course I can't make any promises. And thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter!**

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><p>The following Saturday, Harry made sure he got home on time so he could take his time to cook and tidy up before Ruth came over. Because he barely spent any time at home and had a cleaner in twice a week, his house was practically spotless to begin with, so it didn't really need a lot of tidying up, but it took his mind off things and helped him to pass the time. He took Scarlet out for a quick walk, and afterwards he began working on his lasagna. It was one of the few dishes he could make really well, and had done so many times over the years, so the chances of him messing it up were next to none. Once he had put the lasagna into the oven and set the table for two, there was just enough time left for him to take a shower and change.<p>

After his shower he made a few final preparations, most importantly preparing a simple salad to go with the lasagna, while a violin concerto by Bach played in the background to calm him down. He had suddenly become very nervous when it dawned on him that this was the first time he had actually invited Ruth over to his house. This was a world away from dinner in a fancy restaurant, or an exciting fling in a hotel room far away from home. This was something much more intimate and real, in his very own home. Harry didn't have any more time get himself nervous and worked up over this, because at that moment the doorbell rang.

He walked into the hallway with Scarlet hot on his heels, who was very excited to see who the visitor was. As he opened the door he realised he was still wearing his apron. It wasn't the first impression of the evening he had intended to make, but it was too late to do anything about it now. The door opened to reveal a nervous looking Ruth, who started smiling as she noticed the apron. "I see you're still in full cooking mode," she said. "I hope I'm not too early?"

"No not at all, I am actually all finished. I just sort of forgot to take this off," he answered, gesturing to the apron. "Come in," he said, stepping aside to let her pass.

Harry took her coat and hung it up whilst Ruth was greeted enthusiastically by Scarlet. "Hello girl," she cooed as she crouched down and scratched the little Jack Russell behind her ears.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" Harry asked as he led the way into the spacious kitchen/diner.

"Yes please," Ruth answered as she followed him, taking in her surroundings at the same time. She had never been to Harry's house before.

"I can give you the grand tour later if you like," he said as he noticed her looking around. "Is red OK?" he asked as he held up a bottle of Merlot.

"Oh yes I prefer red wine, so that's perfect. And I'd definitely like a tour of the house later," she said.

"Have you lived here long?" Ruth asked as Harry handed her a wineglass.

"Not that long actually," he said. "Remember when that kid broke into my house and cracked open my safe? I moved not long after that."

"Oh that's right, I completely forgot about that. Did you mind moving house?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. It's not as if I spend a lot of time at home anyway. To me it's little more than a pile of bricks that have been neatly cemented together for me to live in. This house has a better garden though, which is nice for Scarlet I suppose."

Ruth wanted to make a comment about making a house more personal and homely in order for someone to feel at home there, but she was interrupted when the timer went off.

"Dinner's ready!" Harry said with a smile, as he gestured her to take a seat at the table.

The lasagna had indeed turned out the way Harry had intended, and dinner was a success. Conversation flowed a lot more easily than either of them would have expected, and they discovered that they had loads to discuss that didn't involve their job. As it turned out they had a very similar taste in music, and to Ruth's pleasant surprise Harry was a lot more fond of classic literature than she would have expected. There were no awkward silences, just the occasional natural pauses in their conversation while they ate. It felt as they had been having dinners like this one for years.

After they had both finished eating Harry cleared their plates away, and refused to let Ruth help him clean up, no matter how persistent she was. "Bugger," she suddenly heard him swear under his breath.

"What's wrong?" she asked, hoping nothing serious had happened.

"I completely forgot about the dessert. I had intended to make one, but I completely forgot. I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry about it. It's ok. I don't need a dessert. The lasagna was lovely, and I've had more than enough to eat." she replied.

"I could quickly pop to Tesco and get some ice cream if you like?" Harry said.

"No honestly, don't. I'm fine. Besides, I shouldn't eat too many desserts anyway, it's bad for my waistline." she said, trying to reassure him that he shouldn't worry too much about it.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with your waistline," he said as he walked towards her. "It's perfect the way it is."

He rested his hands on her hips and leaned forward to kiss her. Ruth was momentarily overcome by her emotions when she realised what he had said. No other man had ever called anything about her perfect. After a short moment she realised what was going on, and responded eagerly to the kiss.

When they at last ended the kiss she said: "are you going to give me the grand tour of the house now?"

"You surely don't waste your time, do you?" Harry said as he raised an eyebrow.

Ruth immediately went beet red. "N-no I didn't mean it like that. I truly meant it when I said I would like to see the rest of your house, and I-I wasn't implying..."

Here Harry cut her off. "I'm just teasing you Ruth, don't worry. Honestly, you're the easiest person joke around with."

"Cheeky bastard," she said as she playfully slapped his arm. "Well, lead the way then and show me your house."

There wasn't all that much to show her. There was a large reception room downstairs, and upstairs a spare room, a study, the bathroom, and of course the master bedroom, which Harry had saved for last.

Ruth sensed a healthy bit of tension between them as she peered into the bedroom, which was tastefully but sparsely decorated, but was still very Harry.

She felt an arm encircle her waist from behind. "Would you like some coffee?" Harry asked her, his mouth very close to her ear.

Ruth didn't know whether it was the wine, or the fact that they were already standing in his bedroom – perhaps it was a combination of the two – but she suddenly felt like being very bold and forward for once.

"Coffee is nice, but there's something else I'd much rather have," she said as she turned around and kissed him hard.

Harry took the hint immediately and he started moving her backwards into the room, never breaking the kiss, until the back of her legs hit the side of the bed. He laid her down gently on top of the duvet and moved to lie beside her, before resuming his attack on her mouth. "This is a much better idea, I agree," he said as he moved down to kiss her neck and collarbone. "Coffee is overrated anyway."

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><p>Ruth awoke slowly, and felt disoriented for a moment. She was in pitch blackness and didn't know exactly where she was. But suddenly it all came back to her, and she felt relieved. She looked to her right, and noticed that Harry was still sleeping soundly. She peered over his sleeping form to the digital clock on his bedside table, and noticed that it was 2.30 in the morning. They had been asleep for hours.<p>

She suddenly began to feel a bit uncomfortable. This hadn't been part of the plan at all when she came over earlier that night. The plan was to have dinner with Harry, just that. She could only hope that he didn't think she was being too presumptuous this early on in their relationship, if he was even considering it a relationship yet. They hadn't exactly talked about how they were going to define this thing, whatever it was that was going on between them. Ruth wasn't really used to serious relationships, and she dreaded the awkwardness a talk like that was inevitably going to bring along with it.

Trying not to wake Harry, she moved over to the side of the bed. Perhaps it was best if she snuck out now, to avoid a whole lot of awkwardness in the morning.

"Not trying to sneak out, are you?" she heard him say before she had even managed to swing her legs over the side of the bed.

"Of course not," she lied.

Harry reached over to switch on the lamp on his bedside table. "Are you sure?" he asked as he turned around to look at her.

"Well, maybe I did," she admitted hesitantly as she bit her bottom lip.

"Why?"

"Because I thought it might be awkward in the morning. It's not as if I had planned for this to happen, and I didn't want you to think that maybe I did."

"Ruth," he said, taking her hand in his, "other than having dinner with you I didn't have any expectations about tonight. Not that I wouldn't like anything more to happen of course, but it wasn't all part of the master plan. But I'm glad it did, and of course I didn't think you'd have a hidden agenda when you came over tonight."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Stop worrying so much, and try to enjoy these moments while they last," he said as he cupped her face with both hand and kissed her softly.

They both lay down again, Ruth with her back to Harry, allowing him to wrap his arms around her.

"Please promise me that you won't try to sneak out again after I've fallen asleep," he whispered in her ear. "I would like for you to be there tomorrow when I wake up."

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," she whispered back.

Within a matter of minutes they were both fast asleep.


End file.
